Here are a few of the ones that I could live without.
- The signs that say "We Buy Homes"
- Liars
- 100% Commission
- Get serious, you have to make money somehow. How about a bunch of other fees?
- #1 or Best Agent
- I know a 100 of you. You can't all be #1
- FSBO
- That is "For Sale by Owner." Stop trying to dehumanize someone who tries to sell their own home. Most will not be successful and will need an agent. It will probably be one who did not talk down to them.
- Priced to Sell
- Thank God, I hate the ones that are priced not to sell.
- Motivated Seller
- The others don't want to sell their homes?
- Will consider all offers
- How about $5.00? The guy at the get rich quick seminar said I can buy them for that. It only cost me $2995.00 to learn how.
- Cute Home
- Admit it, it is tiny.
- A Charmer
- Bring on the Cobras.
- A one of a Kind
- Why did they stop making them like that?
- Must See!
- What will happen if I close my eyes?
- How does it smell?
- Don't Miss This One!
- Hmm, I bet it is a must see.
Feel free to add a few of your own favorites.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Randy L. Prothero, REALTOR®, ABR, AHWD, CRS, e-PRO, GRI, SFR
Century 21 Liberty Homes
Randy Prothero is well established as an expert in working with military / VA clients and first time home buyers. His home seller's (listing) campaign is one of the most aggressive marketing programs in the area.
Based out of Mililani, Hawaii. Randy services the island of Oahu (Honolulu County) and the Leeward Regional Chairman of the Honolulu Board of Realtors. To improve overall professionalism in his area Randy also offers classes for real estate agents.
www.HawaiiRandy.com * Oahu (Honolulu County) Property Search * Hawaii Military Relocations
Oh no...... If I take all of those out, I wont' have any marketing left!
Pam - I knew that list would catch almost everyone. I have to admit using some of them in the past.
Randy,
I am proud to say that I never remember using these words in any of my marketing materials.....
My favorite annoying phrase is when the listing says "Pond Potential", and it is really terrible swamp land.
Julie - You are in the minority.
Lynn - I have not seen that one here. We do not have much swamp land though.
Randy, "Commodious kitchen" Reminds me of something that should be in a bathroom not a kitchen!
Gene - Here that means the termites holding hands are the only thing holding up the roof.
How about - starter home
or
my fave - reduced 900,000 from last years appraisal.
Roberta - I have never seen that one. It must be a regional thing.
Over 20 years in real estate and not much has changed. The same phrases and signs, I do get tired of seeing all of the For Sale By Owner signs around. I guess people think they can sell them on their own. Fine, but why are they always red and white?
Doesn't anyone know that the color red subconsciously means to Stop! If I was going to attempt a FSBO I would create a bright pink and purple sign or in warm colors with softer font. I think a real estate agent originally created the FSBO and knew that it would be awful and their lovely sign would get much more attention. Just a thought.
Doreen - The second one is amazing at best.
Julie - You may be right about who picked the red and white.
Hi Randy. Do you really think FSBO is degrading? How is it any different then SCUBA?
Ken
I have one in my email right now that says - REDUCED almost $63,000 from original listing! BUYER'S DREAM! SPOTLESS...
I almost fainted when I saw that big one a couple weeks ago.
I love these. I laugh at the all the time.
How about
"Sell before I do."
and
"Won't last".
Been on the market for 453 days.
I also get a kick out of the REMARKS that say, "Open house Sunday March XX. Of course it's already July. You know that the agent never looked at the agent after it was entered.
Sad.
Randy - Those are GREAT! I, too, get so annoyed when I see those phrases!
Randy: Some funny stuff and it's ashame to think people in our business can't be more to the point and have to copy all the bad saying that came before them. Give us some creative people so we can all get some help.
I like the commentary... :)
What about when something is "newer", like a newer kitchen. Newer than what? A kitchen built in the 20's?
Randy - well you certainly hit on the big ones that we see all the. I had a good laugh. The "won't last" ones are some of the best.
I think I have a listing that might fit this description - "Must see this one of a kind cute charmer that is priced to sell. Motivated sellers will consider all offers." Hurry...won't last.
Jeff
How about "Walking Closets" We have a huge hispanic constituency here in Miami, I see this one very often. I can see the logic behind it... The closet is large enough to be walking in.
Another funny one is "new price". Is it higher or lower?
How about "new carpet on its way" or "no showings until ...".
Randy, I can honestly say I have used some of these but in my later years have tried not to use them.
Ken - If you were selling your home, would you like to be referred to as a FSBO and told by at least a dozen or two agents how dumb you are and how you will fail? That is what I hear from the For Sale by Owner folks I have spoken to.
Doreen - And yet it has still not sold.
Lenn - I see those all the time.
omg..you are a hoot, yes, it is hard thinking of flowery language to put in listing..I break out my Thesaurus when I write listings descriptions... :)
Leesa - I am sure others will add some even better ones.
Hollis - It is easy to slip in the routine.
Jeff - You have the idea, if we put them all together, that may work. LOL
Needs a little work or diamond in the rough! Watch out we are talking major problems. I enjoyed your list.
Before I got in to real estate (in another state) I was a FSBO. I have to admit that term has never been a favorite of mine. I was however a successful FSBO. I had 15 years sales experience behind me when I went to sell my home. We had an incredible location backing to a little lake but had only lived there 2 years when we were transferred. I got so annoyed at the real estate agents that I said "if they can do this I know I can" and upon moving to Texas I got in to real estate.
Bal - I haven't seen that one. That is definitely a regional one.
Team Knowles - I hate old prices. LOL
Dee - I am guilty of the "no showings until" on a property. Multiple offers on the first day, sold for full price.
Frank - With maturity we all improve. I also have gotten better at avoiding these terms.
Konnie - Good idea, I should keep a thesaurus around.
Marchel - I have told the story many times about complications when I bought my home. I felt that if some of the folks involved were driving expensive cars there must be a lot of money in real estate. I got back in the business and swore I would never have a client go through what we went through. I have never looked back.
Thank you so much for this. I immediately feel the hair on my neck start to stand up when I hear:
Win - Win
Randy my all time favorite is the "Priced To Sell", I love it, and every time I see that I just break out laughing ................. LOL
Russell - As opposed to lose-lose. LOL
George - Don't you just hate the ones that are priced to not sell.
My favorite comment is "walking closets!" That is like something that I would say incorrectly in Spanish.
Lara - I had not heard that one before, but think it is pretty funny.
unfortunately, you have to be careful what you say and what you put in print these days -- be careful of what you say as others may interpret another way.
Bring on the Cobras. - lol
How about - 48 hr notice needed - how long does it take to clean up? 4 hrs to clean up and 44 hours to stress out.
My favorite, "Honey, stop the car"!
Yeah right, stop for the garage sale that the neighbors are having. Wouldn't a good one be "Hidden bag of money inside"? That would get me to stop the car and at least look.
Josh Frederick, Northwest Ohio Home Inspector
My favorite is ...lowest price in the neighborhood and it is now second from the highest priced home in the neighborhood.
I had to laugh as I read your post. What I like is the "Handyman Special"
just how handy do you have to be to tear a home down and build it up from scratch?
I love it! What about "Honey stop the car...I'm out of gas!" LOL!
I love your line...
Scott - So true.
Georgina - Unfortunately, I have to put 48 hour notice on them at times because of tenants. Our landlord tenant code requires that unless the tenants agree to less.
Josh - "Honey Stop the Car" I know a couple of agents who put that rider sign on top of the sale signs. You are right a hidden bag of money might work.
Allison - If they are the lowest price, they will never be for long.
Charles - Or drive the bulldozer right over it. LOL
Jim - Maybe some nail strips in front of the house will get them to stop the car. LOL
Randy, I laughed out loud at my computer at this post. As a new agent, i've read a lot of different remarks and signs and marketing material, and am working on picking the things I like to make them mine. But I am always amazed at how many properties are "must sees" as if my life will be over if I don't see it.
Very clever!!!!
100% Commission
Hey Randy,
Funny list. :) What do you think about brokerages that offer the potential for earning MORE than 100%?
Laura - Thank you, good luck in your new career.
Not Licensed Yet - I don't think much of gimmicks. I sell homes and represent my clients the best way I know how. For that I can make a nice living. If someone is shopping for gimmicks and residuals, they are probably not as successful as they would like to be.
Randy, I love this post. I use on that isn't on there:
"Motivated Listing Agent!"
I never thought of the "no showings until" being an asset before. I might have to try that!
here's one - home is "ready for new owners" - who says, the "talking house?" and what's it going to do if it doesn't get new owners? Blow up? And just what did the old owners do to it that it's ready for new ones? hmmmmm? Your list is a real classic. Very funny, true, but funny!
I always liked the phrase "we're number 2 in the real estate busines, because everyone else is number 1.
I have to agree with all but 1. That one is "priced to sell". In todays market with all of the way overpriced sometimes that phrase is actually fitting.
As annoying as the phrases may be, they wouldn't be in use if they weren't effective. Maybe that is part of its annoying charm? That it works?
I admit it catches my attention, but I can't say that I immediately buy in to it....but for those few seconds or minutes, they have me.
I loved your post! It was funny!
How about "a peek at the ocean"? We use that a lot around here. It means: "Go to the balcony's right side, stand on your tippy toes and don't blink!"
Patricia - That is a good one. That must meanyou return phone calls.
Dee - I like the one that said all offer will be presented on Tuesday. The home was on the market almost a year at the original asking price.
Alyce - I wonder what you do if the home is not ready from new owners.
Jerry - That is a good one.
Patrick - There are many over priced. I am sure all of the sellers priced them to sell. Some just need a reality check on what that price should be.
Joanna - I am not convinced that many of these are effective. I think most agents get in a rut and go with what they are used to.
Mirela - I have seen the Peek-a-Boo view listed a few times.
Hi Randy. I wouldn't care about being called a FSBO.
I would not like to be called dumb or told I would fail.
I agree that Realtors handle them poorly. We are trained to.
It makes me wonder about training!
Ken
Ken - It makes me wonder where is the common sense. No one who has been insulted will do business with them.
Some say cute, some say cozy, some just leave out the square footage.
Must see! Why? or the alternate: Must See Inside.
We call FSBOs "unrepresented sellers".
Great list Randy... as mentioned above, "Won't last long" is a favorite of mine....especially when the market ime is 9 months-plus.....LOVE IT...
LOL! However, re: 100% commission, we do offer that at our company to experienced agents and only charge a minimal broker's fee.
Randy..... I like this one.... this was good and for a good laugh. I always loved the "I am number one"... what about the football players that raise their fingers with 1 finger, to signify that they are number one... but that they aren't even in the top 25... I always found that to be very funny... lol
Sharon - I like "unrepresented sellers".
Jim - I love reading that on a listing that you measure in months on the market instead of days.
Abacus Properties - Then it is not 100% You are making your money by charging fees.
Jeff - I remember many years ago, Hollywood Henderson of the Dallas Cowboys doing that in a game they were losing. Coach Landry got rid of him, star or not.
We get a lot of "Paladium Windows" and "Coffin Ceilings"- leaving me torn between a rock concert and a funeral. I don't mind the "Ho-Hum" phrases, but when they use the wrong words to describe the house- It gets to me. I do end up calling to let them know that they have a typographical error, it is the least I can do, I don't want buyers thinking every southerner they meet has an educational deficit.
Jane - We similar mistakes here. Sometimes see one agent makes a mistake on their listing and then several others copy it.
Randy - these are akin to the cheesy pick up lines of days gone by. "won't last long" is a favorite... it's always the house that's vastly overpriced that gets this label. Too funny.
Randy, LOL "Priced to sell!" is still my favorite!
Jesse - The last one I saw that said "won't last long" was on the market about 6 months already. LOL
David - I try to price all of them to sell. Maybe the agents who use that line normally price them not to sell.
Ah, but, Randy, it's all just marketing. My favorites are the agencies who claim to be "#1 in San Diego County!" because every agency is. It's just that they are using incomplete sentences (or their printer messed up and left the last half of the sentence off). Here's what they should say:
Etc.
I love marketing.
Just needs TLC, is seen a lot and we all know it really means: torch it, level it and cart it away.
Russel - Good list. How about adding number one in customer complaints or untrained agents? I can think of a company or two that would meet that description. LOL
Mary - TLC sounds so nice. I think level it, might get more responses from the right buyers for it.
Randy, this was funny. But what about all those Realtors out there that need these phrases....what will they do. My ex-broker use to use "Honey Stop The Car". I thought it was funny at the time....being such a marketing genius myself....now I kinda think it's cute. Have a great day!
Funny. Yep, it is amazing how much ink is wasted with useless phrases that don't say anything!
Jeanean - My slogan is kind of corny, but it works. "Not Just Another Pretty Face"
Gary - After awhile it does get tough to think of original stuff.
Russel's post made me think of something.
Everyone is #1.
Go to any high school football game at halftime.
Did you ever see a band that wasn't award winning?
Brenda - I have seen a few that should not be award winning. LOL
Randy - This post made me laugh but I agree with you, these sure belong on the annoying list.
Randy - thanks for the list, now I have to go re-write all my listings. How about the lack of creativity by an agent that just rewrites all of the information that he/she just put in the check boxes on the listing form.
But what really gets to me most are the pictures of toilets and corners. Aaaarrrgghhhhhh!
Jennifer - I got a laugh yesterday. I was setting up showing appointments for today and saw 2 out of 3 listings had one of these phrases.
Mike - The pictures of the toilets are pretty sad. It is worse when they take a picture of it with the seat up.
lol. That's funny. I've gotten so immuned to them, they don't carry any weight anymore. I guess I'm not alone.
Trunda - I guess that is a good word for it. "Immune"
Very good list, I like them all and your spin is right on. Thanks for the laugh.
Robert - Thank you and you are welcome.
Classic, though we do have a few sllers who are NOT motivated sellers, we call them pocket listings, house for sale, purely to have a house for sale. If some one buys at the listed price, well they know something we dont.
Sean - They believe that someone will pay way more than anyone ever dreamed of with cash. The part of the mix I remind sellers. The bank will not appraise at the crazy price.
As for "For Sale By Owner" It's a good thing the neighbor isn't trying to sell it.
Carol NovaStar Alexandria VA
Carol - That is so true.